Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
