you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
