But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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