Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Randomize
