Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
