You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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