This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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