I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
