all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
