just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
