Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
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