I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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