but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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