just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
