When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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