Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
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