Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
