i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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