what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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