wake up i wanna do it froggy style
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
