I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
