just come out here and I will go home with you...
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
