would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
