You're a womanizer and a bitch.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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