He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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