No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
