Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
