its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
