you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
