I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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