awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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