Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
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