video games are the ultimate cock blocker
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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