Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
My vagina is very pro this idea
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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