Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
