He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
