hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
