I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
