i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I think I sprained my soul last night
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
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