i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
