hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
