We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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