I'm going to rape someone's good day.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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