i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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