Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
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