Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
