Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
