For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
