planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i dont even know how to be here
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
