why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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